Have you had a fight this week?
What a ridiculous question. The last week in which Chuck Wolfe didn’t win a fight was in 1963 – and that was only because his mother was yet to be impregnated by Chuck’s father, Tartarus, the primeval god of the dark, stormy pit of Hades.
This week, Chuck Wolfe has won 11 fights. This is even more impressive when you consider that Chuck Wolfe’s week only started an hour and a half ago. (Chuck operates on his own calendar which is scientifically proven to be far superior to the conventional one.)
So far this week, Chuck has fought and bested five men, four bears, an alligator and an eight-year-old boy called Nathan who looked kind of wimpy and was therefore asking for it. Four of those fights terminated with Chuck’s patented “nut chop”. Nathan was defeated via a good solid punch to the face.
You know what that is – that’s garnish.
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